I'm so not crazy =]

so i can now blame my previous blog on pms. lol. =P tomorrow shall be an interesting day. kyle, v, phil are coming over and jenny's friend too i think. gonna go around town seeing what we can do fundraising wise. and then just hang around. and then some hw too i suppose. and v's currently trying to turn my radio off for me...while being like farrrr away. (see he's the crazy one =]) well im off to bed. and on a good note despite my cramps. tnx to phil =]

Don't Ask. IDFK.

so phil just left and idk what happened to me. we were watching a movie and then i started crying. wtf? i wasn't even watching the movie, i only put it on because he wanted to watch it. and idk why i even started crying, i just started pulling away. and then i went back to him and just hugged him...and then we were okay for a lil bit and then i just felt like pulling away again. idfk. i feel like im just being stupid about this whole thing. there's something up with him (or me) and idk what it is. sometimes i just get really attached to him like i don't want him to leave or get off the fone and idek why; its like a kid grabbing onto someone's leg hoping to stop them from leaving. sometimes i feel like he's just not there or like doesn't wanna be with me or would rather be with someone else or idkkkkkkk! sometimes just the way he acts/the things he does makes me wanna just walk away but at the same time i can't. gahh idfk. i want so badly to say it was just a case of PMS lol.


- 1 mind 1 goal. - <--has nothing to do with the above said thingy.

Gotta narrow it down; Hippo much?

its hard to know u work so hard to try and help those close to u but at the same time it leads to ur downfall. as one person told me, i can't help everyone...and i know i can't but i can't help but get myself into situations. i just can't help it. sometimes i think i know what im doing or what needs to be done, but right after its happened, i realize, shit. i should've done that. or crap. that could've gone better. w/e theres nothing i can do for it now except apologize and try to make things better. i've been saying that i'm changing myself for the better. and in subtle cases, i have...but it seems to create more problems...well...situations. and im not regretting anything its just proves i still need to do some more work.
its hard to try to do everything u can so that certain people succeed but feel like you're not getting as much support in return..that doesn't hinder u're want for them to succeed but it would sure help you through the tough times when you want to just give up.
its hard to give support when u're in doubt of accomplishing things yourself, but u give support anyway to be strong for that person and to hide your self doubt.
sometimes too much is too little, in several aspects. one being you try too much and its only really helping a little. or yo give too much and receive too little. or you worry too much and accomplish little. or you offer yourself to do things too much and the joy in helping goes down...or is, well, too little. even if this isn't really the case(s), it can feel that way at times. and all you [can] do is hope, maybe it doesn't seem to mean a lot now, but maybe in the future everything will fall into place.

too many things goin on!

so i just got back from double dragon (i've been craving some since yesterday) and it was yummm. i also did some spanish hw while i was there, just to feel accomplished when i got home and not just fat. lol. nexus today was pretty okay i suppose. idk theres just a lot going on for me right now and nothing is like prioritized...i may think it is..but when it comes down to doing the work it just depends on what i feel like working on. just all this stuff is stressing me out..and i just need to get through it, one step at a time i guess. as long as its not two steps back, all is good.
so lets c, theres TSA, Nexus, School Site, District Facilities Site, and just IB work in general...like CAS hours and hw.
so in case u're wondering this is my todo list...and this isn't even all of it..:
(kudos to v for this)
History Packet 1
History Packet 2
Chemistry Lab
Biology packet
Biology FCAT packet
Spanish Packet
Harriman sunglasses

Website Facilites
Website TSA
Website Florida GUard
Website School

TSA Fundraising (sams, publix,etc)
TSA Letter
TSA Events
TSA Leadership
TSA Solve Event Conflicts
TSA WalMart

Nexus Prepare for Next Meeting
Nexus Contact Sheet
Nexus Club Template
Nexus Teacher Template
Nexus Sports Template
Nexus Flyer
Nexus Caldendar
Nexus Permission Forms

Fast Web Scholarships

oo and i went to spooners room today and taped to her desk is my banner!!! its the 'abandon all hope ye who enter here' one =] and also, for mi dos amigos (u know who u are...or at least u should after i say what i say next) i hope all goes well for u 2 =] u guys def deserve it =P

Phil. Phil. Phil. Alex. and Nexus.

idk lol. but this week was pretty much phil week =] (i feel kinda bleh that i haven't been posting as much as i wanted to but...its all good) the bday party on saturday was pretty cool. it was nice to finally go to inside his house xD his friends were already there...and shortly after i arrived they went outside to play airsoft..and i got like 6 bug bites -.- im happy to say that he enjoyed his gifts =] which reminds me of Dom...because...i mentioned 'magic money' falling from my hair in the last post...it was $2...and i think Dom was planning on giving me $20 for phil's present but he gave me $18...and i just thought that it was weird that i got $2 the day before o.o but anyways...i got home at like 7 and i went straight to bed and didn't wake up til sunday morning. volunteering was okay...i left like a half hour early though cuz i was just wicked tired..idr what i did afterwards...but i know i didn't work on any of the biology notes. monday came..and i was like shizzz i need to do bio! and i started at around 12pm and planned on giving myself a half hr to do each assessment statement...which would mean i'd finish at 10pm. buutttt guess what?!?! i finished them all by 5pm! and i even had distractions in between XP u have no ideaaa i was like ecstatic. weds was phil's bday =] thursday was kind of blehh. not just for me but for a few other people...maybe it was just an overall bleh day eh? and friday was quite the busy but very good day =] we had our 2nd unofficial nexus meeting. (dog party o.o) and i layed down outside for like 20mins just staring at the sky/ocean and talking to to kyle and alex...it seriously felt like a lot longer than that. but it was really relaxing...then we went to mc d's and it seemed like we were only there for like 20mins but we were there for like an hr lol. and then off to drop off alex and then i got dropped off...i kinda fell asleep on the way home lol. and i had a massive tummy ache like allllll of friday =[ but i was better for some reason like once i got home like around 5 30...so that was weird. i took a nap til phil called at 7 saying he was coming to pick me up. we went out to sushi yama with his grandparents and it was yummm. he was so excited lol cuz i guess his grandparents have always refused to go to a sushi place lol. but they said okay and yeaa it was good =] then we went to borders...and phil got a dvd and bought me a giant gummy bear o.o lol. its like a scented oil thing...and oil goes into the bear and then theres like six sticks sticking out of it...that have to be rotated every once in a while...and likee the scent goes up the sticks? idk it smells like green apple bubble bath lol. but yea its on mi desk and it smells good =] jenny was like sniffing it all last night roflmao. but yea yesterday. i think was a very amazing day compared to the rest of my days this week. now today..shall consist of finishing one last math problem...and journal journal journal work. ill leave history for tomorrow...maybe we'll have no school monday? xP
oo and i almost forgot to mention alex. lol. youuu are quite the silly one. xP that's all i'll say =]